The Ant-killer

Those boyhood afternoons
When I would so casually so maliciously
Incinerate pismires on the patio
With a magnifying glass
- That was evil, pure and simple,
The coldness of the psychopath....
For that I deserve
To be attacked and torn to pieces
By some giant mutant ant,-
That noble species
Ought to wreak a dire revenge!
Forgive me, ants, for my stupidity,
For thinking you inferior to me...

This is my life, it happens, that’s all,
And I try to make of it what I will,
Losing, losing, lost...
Selfishly I torment myself
With philosophical questions
When two-thirds of the planet
Is fighting every day
Just for something to eat!
What a luxury it is to be unhappy-
All those who have never found,
Never understood,
Their reason for existing,
Their purpose on earth...

The science and religion
Of others, no less ignorant than I,
Mean nothing to me now-
I think for myself,
Live for myself...
Glancing back over my life,
Every period and incident,
Major or minor,
It all seems so beautiful
And improbable now...
Why should I try
To fit all that in a box
And label it in block letters?
Only what cannot be understood
Interests me.

But look, it's obvious-
Life has had me by the balls all along,
Half mad with arrogance and folly!
Alas, Heaven and Hell
Appear equally tedious-
Perhaps the absolute is not for me.